yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
