My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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