If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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