so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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