do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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