On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Come share oat with me in your robe
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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