i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I deserve this hangover.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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