He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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