Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
