Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
