you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
