come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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