Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
