her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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