happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
