We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
