If i could tip my vagina, i would.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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