What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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