After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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