He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize