i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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