Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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