Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
