She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
