Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
