If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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