They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
