Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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