I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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