Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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