would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im holly from the hills drunk
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
