garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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