sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
