I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
