I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
