At least make sure they are 18
Why
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
