fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
