I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
