remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
