You're so nebulous sometimes
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
