i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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