Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
