What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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