i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
