haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
