Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We got so high we made milksteak
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
