He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
