He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
