Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
