Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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